Feelings in denial
by greyspotterfiction
Summary: AU oneshot about Hermione and Remus after the war. Rated M


**Hey guys.**

 **I wrote a short Remus/Hermione oneshot. It's AU, because Remus and Sirius are alive :)**

 **It's rated M for a short sex scene, nothing major...**

 **I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER!**

* * *

It was already starting to get dark outside. It was a rainy day, rather cold for May. Hermione was running late, she had a lot of work today and now had to hurry. She was babysitting Teddy Lupin over the weekend, because it was the full moon and also the third anniversary of the war. Remus, although being mostly okay now after the death of his wife Tonks, still had a hard time around specific dates.

With Sirius spending the full moon with Remus and Harry away on an auror mission, Hermione was watching Teddy this time. She loved Teddy and had no problem watching him, when Remus needed her.

Arriving at the doorstep of Grimmauld Place, where Remus and Teddy moved into after the war, she knocked quickly and waited until someone opened the door. A few moments later, the door opened and Sirius stood in front of her.

"Hello kitten. Come in."

"Hey. How are you?" Hermione asked him and stepped inside, taking off her coat.

"I'm good, little nervous about tonight, to be honest. He isn't in the best mood and I don't know how he will be as Moony."

Hermione frowned, briefly looking in the direction of the kitchen "Are you sure, you'll be okay tonight? Maybe I can help somehow…"

"You are helping more than enough by taking care of Teddy and brewing Remus the Wolfsbane. We'll be fine." Sirius told her, smiling at her and squeezing her shoulder.

Hermione followed Sirius into the kitchen, where Teddy sat on the floor, playing with his toys. Remus was nowhere in sight. Hermione looked at Sirius, who just mouthed "bedroom", before addressing the three-year-old on the floor.

"Isn't it my favorite little boy." she said and smiled. Teddy quickly turned around and beamed.

"Mione!" he exclaimed and ran into her legs. Hermione wrapped her arms around him and scooped him up "Wow, stop growing, mister, or I can't carry you anymore."

Teddy giggled "I'm a big boy." He said proudly.

"Yes you are! What about a sleepover this weekend, Teddy? We can watch a movie and have some hot chocolate."

He nodded eagerly "Can we have popcorn too?"

"Yes, but don't tell your daddy." Hermione whispered.

"Don't tell me what?" a voice suddenly asked. A very tired looking Remus entered the kitchen.

Teddy giggled again "We can't tell you, daddy. It's a secret."

"Hi Remus." Hermione greeted him, smiling slightly, but being more than nervous on the inside.

"Hermione. Thank you for watching him this weekend." He said, kissing her on the cheek in greeting, causing tingles to erupt on her skin.

"I love watching him." she turned her face to the boy in her arm "We are going to have fun, right, Teds?"

"Yes!"

Remus smiled at the young woman and his son. Before looking at Sirius, nodding at him.

"Teddy say bye to your daddy und uncle Sirius." Hermione said to the three-year-old and handed him to his father.

"Bye daddy. I love you."

"I love you too, Teddy. Be good for Hermione, okay?" Remus said and kissed him on the forehead. Teddy nodded and then said goodbye to his uncle. Remus put him down, bid his goodbye to Hermione, before leaving with Sirius.

* * *

"It's time for bed, Teddy." Hermione whispered to an already sleepy boy. Teddy nodded, but made no move to get up, so Hermione turned the TV off and took the boy into her arms. She carried him up the stairs to his bedroom and laid him down on his bed. She covered him with his blanket and put his favorite cuddly toy beside him – it was a wolf named Moony.

"If you need anything just call, I'm downstairs. Sleep tight." she whispered and stroked his hair out of his face.

His eyes were heavy with sleep, but he mumbled "I love you, Mione." Before closing his eyes, succumbing to sleep.

"I love you too, honey." Hermione said quietly.

Hermione quietly left the room, leaving the door ajar. She went back into the living room, where she lay down and opened the book she brought with her. Outside it was raining stronger now, the sound of the rain hitting the windows soothing her, but getting more and more restless, as she thought about Remus and how he was at the moment.

She put the book aside and walked into the kitchen to make herself some tea. She just sat down and took a sip as a loud thunder sounded through the house. A few moments later, a loud shout of her name could be heard.

Hermione quickly made her way upstairs to a scared Teddy. She opened the door and saw him sitting in the far corner of his bed with Moony tightly in his arms.

"Honey, I'm here. Everything's okay, there is just a storm outside." Hermione told him and sat down on his bed. She opened her arms and Teddy quickly moved into her embrace.

"I got scared."

"As a little girl I got scared of the storm too. It's okay to be scared."

"Really?" he asked and looked at her. Hermione nodded and caressed his head, trying to soothe him back to sleep.

She thought he fell back asleep and wanted to gently lay him down and get out of the bed, but suddenly he said "Mione?"

"Hmm?" Hermione asked, stopping her movement.

"Can you be my new mummy?" he asked. Hermione's eyes widened. She didn't expect such a question and it scared her, how it made her feel. Also, she didn't really know how to answer him this question without him getting the wrong impression.

"Oh honey. You know that I love you very much, right? And I'll always be there for you. For that, I don't need to be your mummy. And even if your real mummy can't be here, she loves you and watches over you every single day, okay?!"

"I know. Daddy tells me every day. But I can have two mums." Teddy said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Hermione sighed "Yes, you can have a second mummy. But you know, your daddy has to love the woman who could be your mummy. Do you understand?"

"I don't know. But daddy loves you."

Hermione didn't know what to say about that, so she said "Try to sleep now, honey. I will stay until you fall asleep."

As she was stroking his head, she thought about what Teddy said. It made her realize a lot of things, she suppressed for a while now. She had feelings for Remus and loved Teddy like he was her son, but that was exactly the problem. Remus didn't have feelings for her and it was difficult for her to take the necessary distance from him, without stopping to see Teddy.

So, the last couple of months, she just suppressed her feelings for Remus, stopping by only to see Teddy. She didn't stay for dinner like she used to and avoided to spend time with Remus alone. The only person, who she thought that knew what was going on, was Sirius. Sometimes she caught him looking at her with knowing eyes. She knew she could trust Sirius, but it still made her nervous.

As she was sure, Teddy was sleeping again, she carefully got out of his bed and back down to the kitchen. She put a warming charm on her forgotten tea and drank it in the almost dark kitchen.

She sighed, because she didn't know what to do. Maybe she would talk with Sirius the next couple of days, asking for advice. She couldn't go on like that. Perhaps it was best to just come clean with Remus. Tell him about her feelings and that it was best, when she wouldn't come to Grimmauld Place anymore, Teddy could come visit her at her flat with Harry or Sirius.

Hermione shook her head to herself. Now wasn't the time to think about it. She would just wait and see. She washed the cup she used and went back to the living room, where she finally fell asleep.

* * *

"Mione? Teddy?" the voice of Sirius exclaimed.

Hermione quickly walked out of the kitchen, where she was just doing the dishes and said "Psst! He just started his nap."

"Sorry." Sirius mumbled and smiled. Hermione walked back into the kitchen and Sirius followed her.

"I didn't expect you until tomorrow. Where is Remus?" Hermione asked, putting the dishes she washed away.

"He needs a few more hours to himself…he either comes tonight or tomorrow."

Hermione nodded, being relieved that she had a few more hours before he came back, before she had to deal with her feelings.

"You want some lunch? I made pasta."

"You are an angel, kitten." he said. Hermione put the food on the plate and put a warming charm on it. Then, she got two bottles of butterbeer out of the fridge, gave him one and placed the plate in front of him.

"Thank you, Hermione." Sirius said and tugged in. Meanwhile, Hermione opened her own bottle of butterbeer and played with the bottle top.

"So, how did it go?" she asked after a while of silence.

Sirius continued to chew and swallow before answering "It was okay. There was just one angry phase and apart from that it was a quiet night. Remus is…well he is confused right now, but he'll come around."

Hermione frowned "Confused how?"

A small smile tugged on Sirius lips, but he shrugged and said "Not my place to tell. He'll come around eventually." He took a sip of his drink before asking "And how was your night? Any troubles with Teddy?"

"Teddy was great. He always is…" Hermione said, not saying anything more, looking into space.

Sirius took her hand and she looked at him, startled "What's wrong?" he asked her.

Hermione shook her head "Nothing.". Sirius pushed his plate aside and stood up, to sit down next to her.

"Kitten, I know you. What's wrong?"

"I don't know what to do anymore, Sirius. You know about my feelings for him, don't you?!"

Sirius nodded, so Hermione continued "I tried to back away as best as possible without stopping to see Teddy. I love that little boy so much and I don't want to hurt him, but I need to protect myself…these feelings…they are getting too much. And last night…Teddy had a nightmare and then he asked me to be his new mummy."

"Oh Hermione…" Sirius said and wrapped his arms around her.

"I-I wanted to say yes so badly, Sirius." she whispered and began to sob.

"It's okay…let it all out, honey." Sirius told her and let her cry on his shoulder. Suddenly the door opened and Remus walked into the room. Upon seeing Hermione cry on Sirius shoulder, a worried look appeared on his face.

Hermione quickly stood up and wiped the tears on her face away.

"Hermione what's wrong?" Remus asked at the same time Hermione said "Remus, you are back early."

"I pitied myself enough, so I decided to come back, but that doesn't matter now. What's wrong? What happened?"

Hermione shook her head "Nothing happened, it's okay – I'm okay. If you two are here now, is it okay when I go home now? Teddy is taking his nap right now."

"Of course it's okay…but you can talk to me, you know that, right?!" Remus asked.

"Y-Yes I know, thank you. So, good bye, hug Teddy for me. Bye Sirius." Hermione said and was out of the door before either one of the men could reply anything.

* * *

After a long hot bath, Hermione felt better. She was embarrassed and could kick herself that Remus saw her like that, but what was done was done and she couldn't change it now.

She got a bottle of wine and a glass out of the kitchen and sat down on the couch in her small living room. She moved into her own flat a year and a half ago, after living with everyone at the Burrow after the war. Harry got a flat with Ginny a just a few months ago and Ron lived with George above the shop for now.

Just as Hermione wanted to pour herself a second glass of wine, a knock on the door stopped her. She looked at her watch and wondered who stopped by at her flat at 9 pm. She walked to the door and tightened the bathrobe she wore a little tighter before opening the door.

"Hey."

Hermione's eyes widened "Remus?! What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see how you were…can I come in?" he asked. Hermione, who only had opened the door a little bit, quickly opened the door completely and stepped aside to let him in.

"I'm sorry, of course. Come in!"

Remus walked into Hermione's flat and she closed the door behind him. Hermione watched him carefully. He wore a t-shirt, which showed his trained body and some good fitted jeans, which made his butt look amazing. Hermione quickly had to avert her gaze.

"You should be at home resting." Hermione said and he turned around to look at her.

"I rested enough." Was all he said. Hermione blushed under his gaze and tightened her bathrobe once again, which caught Remus' attention.

"I'm sorry, I didn't expect guests…I can go change." Hermione said.

Now it was Remus turn to blush "No, no. You don't need to change. I just wanted to see how you were. And maybe see if you want to talk about it, if I can help you somehow…"

"That's nice…but I don't think it would be the best idea…"

Remus stepped closer to her "Why? You can talk to me Hermione. Did I do something wrong? You don't come to dinner anymore…"

"Merlin no, you didn't do anything wrong. I just…"

"You just what?" Remus asked and took another step closer to Hermione.

"Teddy asked me to be his new mummy." Hermione blurted out. Remus eyes widened.

"I can talk to him, if he made you feel uncomfortable."

"That's not the problem." She said angrily.

"Then what is the problem?" Remus asked again. Hermione took a deep breath before closing the remaining space between them, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with all she had. Remus didn't respond and Hermione quickly broke the kiss.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what came ov-" she began to say, with tears in her eyes, but before she could finish the sentence, Remus grabbed her around the waist and put his lips back on hers.

Hermione's gasp was swallowed by Remus and he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. They slowly walked around the room, until Hermione was backed against one of the living room walls, Remus hands roaming across her body. His lips wandered down her neck to her cleavage, her bathrobe half open by now.

She grabbed his t-shirt and quickly helped him out of it. As his shirt hit the floor, he opened her bathrobe the rest of the way and it joined his t-shirt on the floor.

They didn't pause and Hermione's hands continued with Remus' Jeans and boxers. As they and Hermione's panties were on the floor, Remus grabbed her under her thighs and hoisted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Only then, they paused and looked at each other, Remus tracing her facial features. They didn't say a word, but a short nod from Hermione was all Remus needed and he buried himself inside of her.

They moaned simultaneously and Hermione's head hit the wall behind her, but she didn't care. In that moment, she only cared about what was happening right now, what she never thought would actually happen. She grabbed Remus' hair and just let herself feel. Remus thrusts were hard and quick. He trailed kisses across her neck and chest and watched her through hooded eyes. He put one of her legs a little higher on his waist and Hermione moaned louder.

"Merlin, right there!" she mumbled and grabbed him a little harder. Remus kissed her and thrust just a little bit harder, knowing that he wouldn't last that much longer. Apparently, that was all Hermione needed, because seconds later, her eyes widened and she came with a shout of his name.

Soon after she tightened around him, he followed her over the edge, burying his face into her chest.

They breathed heavily. Hermione running her hands through his hair and Remus stroking her thigh. They still didn't say anything. Hermione being scared that he regretted it.

Suddenly, Remus straightened his back and walked with Hermione in his arms in the direction of Hermione's bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Hermione said, breaking the silence.

"Getting us to a bed." he told her and laid her down on her bed, following behind immediately. He pulled her close and kissed her slowly. As they broke apart, he buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply.

"Is this really happening right now?!" Hermione asked, breaking the silence.

"I think so." Remus chuckled, but got serious again and looked at her "You okay with this?"

"It depends on what this is…" Hermione said after a while of silence.

"It's not just a one time thing for me, Hermione. I had feelings for you for a few months now and to be honest, I had no idea how to deal with them. I think I made Sirius crazy for a while." He chuckled "You did so much for me and Teddy and along the way, I developed these feelings. I can understand if you don't return them, you are so young, and I am well…much older and I was your Professor, for crying out loud… I have a kid and I am a werewolf…"

"Stop right there!" Hermione exclaimed "I don't care about your age, or that you are a werewolf. I know that you are one for years now. And I love Teddy, you know that. Also, you were my Professor years ago, but I'm an adult now and nothing inappropriate happened while I was still your student. I have feelings for you too and that's the reason I tried to avoid you the last couple of weeks. I thought you didn't feel the same and it was hard…but I didn't want to see Teddy any less, so I didn't know what to do…Sirius knew how I felt, you saw how he tried to comfort me today."

Remus kissed her again after she told him everything.

"Sirius knew about our feelings for each other. I bet it killed him inside to not say anything to either of us." Remus said.

Hermione giggled "Yeah. But I'm glad we figured it out."

"Me too." Remus mumbled, kissed her shoulder and pulled her even closer to him.


End file.
